What Nobody Tells You About Changing Your Mind
About being a multi-hyphenate, especially in midlife..
If you would like to listen to a read-aloud version of this post, you can do this here:
Last week, someone asked me what I do for work. It’s a question that always makes me pause, not because I don’t know the answer, but because I (arguably, but not really) have too many answers. I’m a geoscientist (yes, you always stay a scientist, even if you don’t work in the field anymore). I’ve performed in musical theatre (yes, you always stay a musician, even if you don’t perform anymore). I coach singers and actors. I’m a working psychotherapist. I’m also a writer.
The person asking looked increasingly confused as I rattled off my various careers, and I could see the question marks behind their eyes.
“Sooooo… have you finally settled then?” they asked with that tone people use when they’re trying to be polite but really mean, “You’re a strange one, aren’t you?”
I’ve been getting some version of this question my entire adult life. The implication is always the same: that changing careers, exploring different passions, refusing to stay in one lane is somehow “weird”. A sign of immaturity, instability, or an inability to commit. Of not being able to “make up your mind”.
But changing your mind isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength that I’m becoming more and more convinced most people are too scared to develop. And I’m sure
would have something to say about this, too.The Myth of the Single Path
We live in a culture obsessed with specialisation. From the time we’re teenagers, we’re asked to choose a major, pick a career path, and stick with it. The narrative is that successful people find their “calling” early and pursue it with unwavering dedication. Anyone who deviates from this path is seen as unfocused, unreliable, or worse: an amateur (can I just suggest looking up the etymology of “amateur” at this point?).
And that narrative is particularly harsh for women. We’re expected to have figured everything out by thirty, to be settled and stable by forty, and to gracefully accept our chosen roles by fifty. The idea of a woman in her fifties deciding to completely change direction? That’s not inspiring. It’s downright irresponsible, right?
But what if this entire framework is wrong? What if the ability to reinvent yourself, to integrate multiple interests and skills, to remain curious and open to change, is a sign of intelligence and adaptability rather than weakness?
The Reality of the Multi-Hyphenate Life
When I look back at my various careers, I don’t see it as a series of false starts or failures to commit anymore. I did at some point, but that was mostly because other people told me it was, and stuff like that invariably eats away at you. But after years and years, I mostly see a woman who was brave enough to follow her curiosity wherever it led. Someone who trusted her intuition when it said, “This doesn’t serve me anymore”, or “This feels wrong, even if I can’t tell you why”. Each role I’ve played (and playing is something we should all do more often) has taught me something valuable that I’ve carried into the next one.
My scientific training taught me how to observe, analyse, and think critically. I believe those skills made me a better performer because I could break down characters and understand their motivations. The vulnerability required for theatre helped me become a more empathetic therapist who is human-centred instead of giving a rat’s arse about the rules attached to the supposed “gold standard” when you seek treatment on the NHS (there’s a big discussion in there, but I don’t think it’s for this post). The deep listening skills I developed in therapy continue to make me a better writer. And you could match up any of my present and past careers and come up with even more. Each seemingly unrelated career choice was building toward something bigger.
The real problem isn’t the multi-hyphenates. It’s that our society doesn’t have a good framework for understanding this kind of integrated growth. We’re so focused on linear progression that we miss the beauty of spiral development, and the way skills and experiences can compound and interact in unexpected ways.
What Nobody Tells You About Midlife Reinvention
There are some truths about midlife change that no one prepared me for:
It gets harder, but it also gets easier. The practical challenges of starting over in midlife are real. You have more responsibilities and less time to recover from mistakes. But you also have more self-knowledge, better judgment, and a clearer sense of what actually matters to you.
People will try to talk you out of it. Well-meaning friends and family will tell you to be grateful for what you have, to think practically, and possibly to “act your age”. They’re scared for you, but they’re also scared of what your courage says about their own choices to play it safe.
Your previous selves don’t disappear. Every version of yourself that you’ve been, you still are. It lives on. You’re not starting from scratch; you’re integrating decades of experience into something new.
The judgment never stops, but it matters less. People will always have opinions about your choices. The difference is that by midlife, you’ve hopefully developed enough self-awareness to distinguish between useful feedback and other people’s fears projected onto your life.
Refusal to stay in one box isn’t a character flaw. It’s a reflection of the complexity of human nature. We’re not meant to be one-dimensional beings. The creative life, in particular, demands this kind of multiplicity. Artists throughout history have been scientists, teachers, philosophers, and activists. They’ve understood that creativity comes from the intersection of different fields, from the cross-pollination of ideas and experiences.
The Permission to Keep Growing
Maybe it’s time to give ourselves permission to see multiplicity as a gift rather than a burden. Me? I’m done worrying about being interested in too many things, about changing my mind, about refusing to fit into neat categories.
The world needs people who can make unexpected connections, who can bridge different fields, who can bring fresh perspectives to old problems. The world needs people who model that it’s possible to keep growing and changing throughout your entire life.
More specifically, the world needs women who refuse to shrink themselves to fit other people’s comfort levels. Who insist on taking up space. Who demonstrate that reinvention isn’t just for the young.
I sometimes don’t know what the next chapters of my career will look like, and I’m okay with that. What I do know is that I’m done pretending to be simpler than I am. I’m done being side-eyed for complexity.
If you’re a woman who’s been told you’re too scattered, too unfocused, or too old to be starting something new, I want you to know: They’re wrong. Your multiplicity is not a weakness. It’s a strength that the world desperately needs.
The ability to change your mind, to grow, to reinvent yourself at any age isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity to adapt, integrate, and evolve.
So here’s to the multi-hyphenates, the career changers, the women who refuse to be boxed in. Here’s to changing our minds no matter our age.
Have you struggled with being seen as “unfocused” because of your varied interests? What would you attempt if you weren’t worried about other people’s opinions? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
The very idea of The Creative Cure is that mental well-being information should be available to everyone, and that creativity is not a magical unicorn for a select few but a birthright. That’s why my articles will always be free. If you’d like to support the publication, you can do one of the following:
Leave a tip.
Have a look around my webpage.
Subscribe to stay in the loop.
Share The Creative Cure with your creative friends.
Well said, my friend! And I needed to be reminded of these very things.
Petra I feel like I could’ve written this about myself, you have described so much of my current and past life experience. I’m glad to know there are other people like you out there, and I’m learning to fully embrace exactly who I am and make no apologies for it just as you are. Thanks for sharing this post.