Rejection is Not the End: How To Keep Creating After The Inevitable
“If you don’t try, you won’t do. And if you don’t do, you are just another […] bystander.” - Bob Ross
Rejection is a part of life, especially for creative artists. Whether it's a bad review, a rejection letter, or a lack of appreciation, rejection hurts and can make you doubt your worth and abilities. But it’s not a reflection of your talent or potential. In fact, rejection can be a valuable learning opportunity and a source of motivation and inspiration. Today, I’d like to explore how we, as artists, can cope with rejection. We’ll also have a look at some common myths around rejection, and look at some ideas and questions to explore.
Before I do that, I’d like to invite you to share your personal experiences with rejection of your art (if it feels comfortable). You can either do this in the comments or our subscriber chat, and connect with people who’ve been there (I certainly have been).
Rejection can make us feel hurt, isolated and misunderstood. It can make us doubt ourselves and our abilities. It can make us wonder if anyone cares about our art, or even appreciates our efforts. But rejection doesn't mean we are alone—we are all part of a community of creative artists who share that type of experience.
You are not the first or the last artist to face rejection. You are not the only artist who feels hurt or frustrated by it. You are not the only artist who needs support and encouragement to overcome it. There are many other artists who have gone through what you are going through, and who can offer advice, empathy, and inspiration.
One idea of The Creative Cure always has been to connect artists, and part of that is to share our experiences by reaching out to other artists who can support us, inspire us, and celebrate with us (and I have something in store for 2024 that I’m already really excited about, so watch this space).
The Myth
As usual, I’d like to explore some myths around rejection, and in this case, they almost exclusively pertain to the stories we tell ourselves, and the beliefs we begin to shape over time.
Rejection means my art is bad (or: I am not good enough)
Rejection is not a measure of your artistic quality or worth. It is simply a reflection of someone else's opinion, preference, or agenda. Different people have different tastes, expectations, and criteria for what they consider good art. What one person rejects, another person may love. From all I know, Vincent van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime, but his works are now among the most famous and expensive in the world. And The Beatles were turned down by Decca Records, who said that "guitar groups are on the way out".
It is even more harmful when the belief “my art isn’t good enough” starts to morph into “I am not good enough.” Rejection does not mean you're not good enough, it just means that your work did not fit the expectations or preferences of a specific person or group at a specific time. There are many factors that influence how people perceive and evaluate your work—personal taste, mood (yeah, we know it shouldn’t, but it does), personal and professional background, goals, biases etc. These factors are beyond your control and do not define your worth or potential as an artist. Every successful artist has faced rejection at some point in their career, and that rejection is inevitable in any creative field. Rejection does not mean you're not good enough; it rather means you were brave enough to put yourself out there, with all that entails.
It’s hard not to take rejection personally, or let it define our art. However, we can learn to shift the focus, and we will get to that later in this article. But first, let’s have a look at another myth that’s very closely related to this one…
Rejection is personal
If we subscribe to the belief that rejection always has a personal element, it is bound to make us feel attacked and defensive. Rejection is usually not about you as a person; it's about your work as a product. When someone rejects your work, they are not rejecting you as a human being, they are rejecting something that does not meet their needs or standards at this moment in time. This does not mean that your work is bad or worthless; it just means that it's not suitable for that particular situation or audience. It can feel hard if it happens repeatedly though, and we will look at this closer. It is definitely possible to learn from given feedback (and even request it if it wasn’t offered), and move on to the next opportunity.
Rejection is final and means you should give up
Rejection is not final, it's temporary. It's not a permanent verdict on your work or career, it's a momentary setback that can be overcome. Rejection does not mean that you should give up on your dreams or goals—it's an invitation to grow. Many successful artists have faced countless rejections before they achieved their goals, so you are definitely not alone. Stephen King's first novel Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers before it was published by Doubleday. Walt Disney was told by a newspaper editor that he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas". It’s okay to feel momentarily discouraged because it does hurt. But don't let rejection permanently discourage you from continuing your artistic journey. Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, and try new things.
The Exploration
When artists face rejection, the first instinct is often to engage in some of the above described thought patterns. Again, they are absolutely understandable, and it’s okay to feel deflated for a while.
Acknowledging our emotions is actually part of the solution. Rejection can trigger a range of emotions, such as anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, etc. These emotions are natural and valid, and we should not suppress or deny them. Instead, we should allow ourselves to feel them fully. Expressing our emotions can help us release the tension and pain caused by rejection. We can express your emotions in various ways, such as talking to someone we trust, writing in a journal, channeling them into our art (which keeps us creating, so it’s a constructive way of dealing with rejection). Whatever works for you, do it. Acknowledging your emotions can help you heal and move on.
How we view rejection can affect how we respond to it. Once you have given your emotions around rejection space, begin to reframe your thinking about it in a next step. What could you learn from it? How could you improve your art, or use rejection as a motivation? Could you learn to appreciate you have the courage to put your art out there (so many people don’t), and that the vulnerability linked to this is a strength, not a weakness?
Rejection can make us defensive or resistant, or it can make us open and receptive. Seek constructive feedback from people who can help you grow and improve as an artist. What do they like or dislike about your art?
I’d like to expand on the topic of feedback a bit, because it is one of the most helpful ways of becoming more resilient towards criticism and rejection. However, our initial feelings usually tend to hover more on the spectrum of, “That feels challenging and intimidating”. So the most important first step is to think about what kind of feedback you need and whom you trust.
Other artists/peers/colleagues obviously have the experience and knowledge to both appreciate and constructively critique your work. When asking other artists for feedback, be specific about what you want to know, and be open to their suggestions and opinions. It’s okay to discard some of them, but use them as fuel for your creative process. It’s never a bad thing to learn to see our art through other people’s eyes—it keeps the creative process fresh, plus it helps building resilience.
Also think about potential audiences/buyers though. Connect via social media, websites, blogs or newsletters—or even better, directly out there, in real life ;). Ask them what attracted them to your work, what made them decide to buy it etc (the questions you can ask will obviously vastly depend on your creative discipline).
In all cases, it’s worth remembering that feedback is hardly ever fully objective, nor is it a hard science. It is ultimately based on someone else's perspective or preference. Just use it as a tool to learn from others, improve your craft, and express yourself authentically.
The most important thing is that you keep creating and sharing your art with the world, regardless of the outcome. Don’t let rejection stop you from expressing yourself creatively—it does neither define you, nor your art.
To round off today’s exploration, here come a few questions for you:
How do you feel when you face rejection? What thoughts and beliefs are triggered? How do you cope with them?
What evidence do you have to support or refute your thoughts and beliefs around rejection? Are there alternative explanations or perspectives?
Who can you talk to (about your feelings and experiences)? How can they help you cope and move forward?
What have you accomplished so far as a creative artist? What are you proud of? How can you reward yourself?
How can you use rejection as a motivation to create more? What new projects or goals can you pursue?
And that’s it for this week. Over at Shadow Truths, we’ll look at #4 (A Hope in Hell) of The Sandman next week. And in a fortnight, I’ll be back over here with my thoughts about nature as both an inspiration and a source for healing.
Up until then,
Petra