It’s January, so it’s still okay to talk about “New Beginnings”, right? [The truthful answer is: I’m only getting around to do this now ;)]
It’s not just because many of us turned over a leaf in our calendars—new beginnings are obviously not just limited to the turn of the year. For most people, myself included, they bring on a mix of excitement and fear: Starting a new job, moving to a new city, a journey of personal transformation—change is always exhilarating and daunting.
The Fear of the Unknown
I recently wrote about two of my own, major “new beginnings”:
As excited as I was when I moved to Scotland nearly 20 years ago—said excitement about a fresh start was at times overshadowed by the fear of leaving behind something familiar: I worried about making new friends, adapting to a different work environment (or rather: completely starting over), and finding my way around an unfamiliar place.
So yes, beginnings can be intimidating because of the fear of the unknown. Humans are creatures of habit, and stepping into uncharted territory can trigger anxiety for many of us. But that’s a natural response to change—and yet so many of us feel a sense of shame around it, as if something were wrong with us. Our brains are wired to seek safety and predictability, and new beginnings disrupt that sense of security. However, (personal) growth doesn’t happen without at least some level of literal growing pains. So question for all of us:
How often do we brush our fears aside instead of acknowledging them (and by that, I mean acknowledging them to ourselves and out in the open)?
How often are new beginnings extra hard to navigate because our eyes are firmly fixed on the top of the mountain instead of the small steps that lead us there?
The Challenge of Letting Go
Letting go of the past is hard. There, I said it. The past is literally behind you, and that’s why it feels like, well, leaving something behind—comfort, memories, the familiar (and even hurt can feel familiar—just sayin’). Not every time I’d outgrown something, or I simply felt it wasn’t good for me, the feeling of leaving it behind was “bittersweet”. Sometimes, we can’t romanticise stuff. Sometimes, things just feel terrifying. And yes, sometimes, letting things go is a relief. But even said relief can be tempered by the sadness of leaving something behind—cherished memories, good times even if they didn’t last, in short:
The feeling of that which once has been a beginning has now become an end.
I have somewhat gotten into the habit of reflecting on at least one positive (which isn’t the same as comfortable) aspect of what I’m leaving behind, and I find it helps with gaining a sense of closure—no experience is ever truly wasted. I guess we all wouldn’t be who we are today if it weren’t for those experiences.
Building a Support System
However, there’s one thing I haven’t talked about yet: There is sooooo much info out there about growth mindset, new beginnings as the catalyst for change, you name it. Everything is about personal growth and individual challenges. But what’s often sorely missing is how much easier all of this becomes to navigate if we have the support of others.
So more questions:
When have you last reached out to others and didn’t feel weird or even ashamed to ask for help or support?
And when have you last been there for someone else through their “new beginnings”?
And Here Comes The Fun Bit…
Of course I didn’t write all of this for nothing—I’d like to try something, and I’d be thrilled if you joined me over in the chat. But let me explain first:
When I talk about new beginnings, I think of both my personal experiences and my experience of working with people, be that in my capacity as a therapist or as a musician/performing arts coach. And I see, time and again, that many of us are absolutely terrified of not being good at something off the bat. To fall flat on our faces and try again. To laugh about that thing we wanted to do well, but it turned into something like a burnt cake or an absolute disaster of a drawing (as an aside: I don’t truly believe art is ever disastrous, but that’s an entirely different topic).
What I’m trying to say is: It’s worth remembering that none of us got where we are today without starting over many, many times. There’s nothing weird or embarrassing about it, and it’s good to remember that from time to time—by doing something new.
And since I am also a writer and artist, I’d like to encourage you to become one (or both) today. You can absolutely do this for yourself, but it’s more fun with other people (of course no one has to try anything they’re not comfortable with).
As I said before, Substack is about human connection and community-building for me. So let’s move this over to the chat—I have some prompts to share I hope you might enjoy. And it would be even nicer if we got talking over them—so will I see you there?
P.S.: I will probably send some of the chat prompts out to my subscribers as a reminder to pop by, but if you don’t want the chat notifications: You can switch them off in your newsletter subscription settings…
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Your words deeply resonated—thank you for capturing the raw and honest reality of change. Beginnings are intimidating, and I love how you reframed fear as natural, not shameful. That reminder about our brains craving safety while growth demands discomfort was spot-on.
The part about letting go especially hit home. Leaving the familiar, even when it no longer serves us, can feel bittersweet or downright terrifying. Your practice of finding one positive takeaway from endings is such a meaningful way to honor what was while embracing what’s next.
Building a support system is so vital yet often overlooked. I recently reached out for help and felt vulnerable, but it reminded me how much we need each other during transitions.
Interestingly, I recently wrote something that mirrors your reflections on fear, letting go, and new beginnings. Here’s to change, my friend—may we navigate it with courage, grace, and connection.